Friday, February 6, 2015

Upright Pianos and Low-Grade Fevers

According to my handy new blogging schedule, I'm supposed to provide you with something funny today.  This may be funny or possibly just weird.  I don't know.  I've taken a lot of cold medicine.

Those who know me well are already aware of my penchant for moving furniture.  At one time or another, most of you have probably helped me "just slide my couch down a bit", "just help me turn this rug without moving the table", or "just help me totally switch the dining room with the living room before Matt gets back".  If you are my friend, you have moved my bed.

For some reason, whenever I get sick and feverish, this tendency kicks into high gear.  My body's natural healing process goes something like this:  "You are sick.  You should lay down on the couch with a cup of tea and give your body the rest it needs... but, hmmm, can you really rest when that loveseat would look so much better on the other side of the room?  There.  That's better.  Now everything is perfect and you can relax.  Oh, wait, now that picture is totally off-center.  Better go find a hammer..."  On and on it goes, often for days on end, because inexplicably, my body seems slow to heal.

Tuesday night, when Matt came home from work, I was so miserable with a cold that I could barely function.  It was his birthday so we ate dinner, had a little cake and opened presents.  Then, he told me to go relax while he put the kids to bed.  I decided to take him up on his offer and went to chill out.  About an hour later, when he came downstairs, the conversation went something like this:

Matt:  Did you move the piano by yourself?

Me:  Yes

Matt:  What?!  That must have been so heavy!

Me:  Not as heavy as the roll-top desk.

Matt: (pause)

Me:  You know that long sofa table that's in the garage?

Matt:  Yeah.

Me:  Can you bring that in and clean it up and then bring down the printer from the office so that I can set up another school table with all my homeschooling supplies because I hate having to go upstairs all the time because then the kids lose focus while I'm gone plus I have all these fun school activities I want to put out and I feel bad because they are just up there and the kids don't even get to play with them and I know this is our dining room and all but we hardly ever have dinner in here and we use this room everyday for school and I think it will just be a much better use of our space so could you do that?

Matt:  OK.  (pause) I'm gonna go get milk first.

[Exit Matt.  I collapse on the couch in feverish exhaustion and fall asleep until I am later awakened by the sweet sounds of rummaging in the garage.]

I know what you're thinking.  Who asks their husband to move furniture on their birthday?  And you're right.  It was kind of jerky.  Ordinarily I would have just waited and asked my dad when he was up visiting; but, he's still recovering from hernia surgery. (Oops. My bad.)  The birthday boy obliged me and then we kicked back on the couch with some lemon bars and a little DVR'd Masterpiece.  We did take one quick break, just to see how the coffee table from the living room would work in the family room.  FYI...

It is everything you imagined.

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